It's difficult to identify exactly when this lesson began, not for lack of trying, but one thing is for certain, I am (we are) learning. I'm so thankful that God disciplines those he loves!
In ministry, this has meant a number of things:
-taking responsibility for the choices that I make, both good and bad, and accepting responsibility when I've failed. This happens more often that I care to admit, and frequently requires an apology. I'm not sure where I picked up the idea that I would be perfect in any area of life, but it seems that I've had to painfully learn some humility in acknowledging my own failings. I am not a perfect pastor's wife! I fail to listen, I'm quick to judge (even if I don't vocalize it), I'm frustrated when others fail to live up to my expectations, and I am far too quick to take credit for God's work when things are going well. With this comes the acknowledgement that I try to pretend that I am perfect, that I have it all together. In that lie, I deceive myself and others into believing that I don't desperately need the grace of God in my life.
-taking on more responsibility. This year the consistory at FRC asked me to oversee the children's ministry. This began in July with our first VBS - PandaMania. I was humbled by the help I received in implementing this in our church. We had 25 children attend, five of which were from our church, the other twenty were from our neighbourhood. I was encouraged by the church's commitment and work, and reminded of the importance of being a part of the body of Christ. Sunday School has been a challenge for me. I'm out of worship far too often, because of the difficulty of recruiting teachers. While I love the time that I spend with the kids, I miss being in corporate worship. Even in this though, God is at work and we have kids whose families are attending more frequently because they love Sunday School. Additionally, this fall we began a mid-week family night. Part of that is Super Hero School, where I have four boys (and one fantastic side-kick), two of the boys are from the neighbourhood. We've looked at Joseph, Rahab, Gideon, and next week is Moses. At our last meeting, after hearing a dramatized version of the story, the boys asked to take turns reading the story out of the Bible! God is at work in them!
In our finances:
-In the past we've made purchases today, that we would pay for tomorrow. No more! God has shown us that kind of lifestyle actual puts us in chains, keeps us up at night, and limits what we can do tomorrow. Our fulfilment comes, not in what we buy, but in whose we are. So, we are working hard to get ourselves out of the hole, in order that we might be free to do whatever He calls us to.
In our lifestyle:
-Gone are the days of kraft dinner and brown beans, we are making a serious effort at fuelling our bodies with food that is nutritious. Part of that comes through my dear friend and cousin who introduced me to a menu planning service. This means when I cook, I cook only two portions. This has resulted in both of us feeling better, and having significantly more energy to accomplish everything that needs to get done. Here's the link for the menu planning service.
-In addition to our regular 5-7km walks, I have resumed practicing yoga. This tends to be a daily reminder of my tendency to try and control things, and a joyful reminder that I need to release my imagined control. Also, it reminds me while I'm trying to maintain a steady twisting triangle, that I'm far from perfect.
In my schedule:
-While I've always been a list maker, and I delight in stroking items off my to-do list, I've needed to become more intentional about balance. I tend towards tunnel vision when I am working on a project, and so instead of fight that I am loosely scheduling days to work on women's ministry, household work, children's ministry, worship planning, etc. This means more things are being checked off the list because rather than flitting from one task to the next, I zero in on the task at hand. This too needs to be balanced with people, especially Ken, and urgent ministry tasks... so the schedule remains tentative.
In our household:
-A wise woman once said to me, "Christina, your house is a reflection of your life, both are a mess." She wasn't trying to be cruel, her words carried great truth, my physical space and my mental space are related. So, I'm listening to my mom (finally) and putting stuff away when I'm finished with it. The schedule is helping too, in that I am setting aside time to get those household chores completed. All in all, any given day, my house looks neat, even if it's not sparkling clean. :) For all of you who didn't know it, I've spent a lot of time stressing when I have company coming over... again with trying to give off the impression that I'm perfect. My apologies for presenting myself falsely.
My spiritual journey:
-Like every other area of my life, my faith has been wildly undisciplined. I've started lots of things well (see my previous post), but rarely seen anything through to completion. Recently, I've been attempting to discern what God's call is on my life. So prayer has become an integral and necessary practice. In January, we were introduced to a 10-chapters-a-day reading system. I'm grateful for the grace that has allowed me to complete day 243 (in 245) today. This has been a source of refreshment and joy for me (even in Leviticus and Numbers). I wonder how I survived on the meagre diet that I was taking in before... and again I am grateful for God's grace! It all started with a 30 day challenge. For more information about this system check out this link
So, there you have it. I would have never thought that God could work in every area of life at once, and yet I see the evidence. I pray that as He continues to prune, that my life would produce good fruit. Soli Deo Gloria!
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